About trust and other demons

It takes a whole lifetime to know a person. To build trust and feel comfortable with the one you claim to love takes a marathonic effort and commitment from both parts. As I was watching yesterday the movie “The Women” I realized that things are not what they appear, they never are. Once we lose trust in the person that has slept with us for so many years, we feel that the world comes crushing down and that life bitch-slaps us in the face. Add to that how so many women get lost into fulfilling the family dream of the husband forgetting that they are human beings with dreams and goals too. Also, as I was having a conversation/argument with a single 57 year old that seems to abhor marriage as an institution, I realized that some worlds cannot come together, they are destined to constantly and repeatedly clash because we can’t seem to make them together, reconciliation between the two’s and the one’s will forever be an impossible mission.
There is a phrase that says, “you have to know where you are coming from to know where you are going”, and I do believe there is truth in it. We must learn from our past, from the mistakes made by those before us so that we don’t make the same mistakes all over again. After all, isn’t that the point of having access to our past? The same thing happens with marriage. The institution of marriage has a very tormented past when it comes to women and the role we play within it, but time has passed and people has changed, women have changed. My mother always taught me, “If it fits, you wear it, if it doesn’t, you discard it” and I believe that is the best way to approach marriage nowadays. Maybe that’s why I find so fascinating the portrayal of the marriage of Carrie and Big in the new Sex and The City movie. What’s wrong with wanting some time for yourself? We have to stop being slaves to conventionalisms and remold our personal realities to fit our needs, without caring what anyone else might think about it. Besides, at the end of the day it’s just two in the bedroom, the whole world sleeps outside, and outside it should stay.